Working with a Jerk

Happy first Thursday of October!  Here’s what you need to know in tech in under 2 minutes…

What tech leaders should be thinking about this week:  How to work with jerks in tech (and come-out ahead).  Unfortunately, most tech leaders (me included) have had to deal with their fair share of jerks in tech. I’ve found 3 major ingredients to most jerks: inflated sense of self, big (meaningless?) titles, and a lack of creative thinking.

My proven strategies to coming-out ahead when partnering with a jerk?

1.    Know they’re a jerk. Simply telling yourself that clears ambiguity around who you’re working with.

2.    “Let them” be a jerk. Thanks, Mel Robbins, for the reminder. You have control how you’re going to react.

3.    Create a script heading-in. Especially around the small stuff (“How’s it going?”) have a few easy bullets to keep the temperature down and the vibe light.  Need some inspiration? Checkout an earlier newsletter around answering this tough/easy question!

4.    Less is more. Jerks love verbose talkers. Limit going over-board. Keep smiling. Try not to react.

5.    Remember, this is just a job and there’s probably a learning opportunity here.  Thanks Simone Stolzoff for the reminder here too!

Why this is important:  Tech jerks love to create chaos – probably to get them out of doing hard work (sorry, my Scorpio is coming-out).  Knowing (1) who you’re dealing with and (2) coming into the challenging situation with a plan will give you a leg-up. You’ll probably encounter a ton of jerks throughout your career, and prioritizing how you prepare, show-up and navigate will ensure these interactions become learning opportunities and not career-ending-situations.  Remember, your experience is the most important – you’ve got yourself and your team to look after!

Where you’ll see impact:  Of course, you’ll experience a ton of impact to the business when you successfully navigate working with a jerk (especially if that person is a key stakeholder). But where I think you find the greatest impact is how you feel asa leader when you know how to handle tech jerks. Of course, imposter syndrome may spike a bit at first, but overtime, I’ve seen leaders experience:

1. Greater confidence in their messaging and focus on key business priorities

2. Less pressure during the early parts of a jerk meeting(because they’ve prepared)

3. Better engagement from teams because the leader is standing-up to organizational hurdles (aka jerks)

4. Interesting stories to tell when networking, interviewing, or having a glass of chardonnay with friends/family.

5. Simple satisfaction that you can beat a jerk (I know you were thinking this, too)!

Value Add – Additional ways to show-up as a leader:  With all the jerks in the tech world, we could all use a break!  And what’s the perfect way to relax? Listening to Taylor’s new album, “The Life of a Showgirl”coming out tomorrow – 10/3.  The new season of “Love is Blind” is also out now if you need more (dumb) fun!  You’re welcome!

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Here’s to your Engaged Pursuit!